A: “Queer or questioning”. Some confusion has arisen from this, because the use of multiple Q’s has an additional purpose: Each extra Q increases the strength of the queerness, just like in musical notation. For example:
Q - Queer
QQ - Queerissimo (“very queer”)
QQQ - Queerissimo possibile (“as queer as is humanly possible”)
QQQQ - Queerondoando (“I bow down to your superior queerness”)
QQQQQ - David Bowie
Okay… wow… I’m going to stop ignoring these in the hopes I can dissuade future anon creeps. Let’s hope this doesn’t backfire.
This is not, nor is it ever, a compliment. This is quite obviously sexual harassment. When you try to deliver a compliment over the internet, try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes before you hit send. Ask yourself: Would you feel comfortable receiving the same message from an anon? Would you feel comfortable if a stranger confronted you and said this in public? Would you feel comfortable if your grandmother read this message? If the answer to any of those questions is no, you’re probably being creepy.
No one is fucking the shit out of me. As of right now, consider me asexual. I have a definite feeling of attraction toward men, but I have less than zero desire to have sex with any person at this stage of my life. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone who can change that feeling, but, honestly, I doubt it. I would like an intimate, physical relationship, but nothing about sex appeals to me and it feels much deeper than just a whim. And, no, this isn’t just a public stance to mask a private sexual life: I’m seriously done with sex. I tried different kinds of sex with different kinds of people and finally realized my problem wasn’t that I hadn’t found my niche… I really was disinterested in and made uncomfortable by sexual intercourse. I would much prefer cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and an episode of Doctor Who.
What were you trying to accomplish in sending this message? Even if I did think this was a legitimate compliment, what would I do with it? I’m assuming you are unaware that I can figure out who you are easily* and that you were under the impression that choosing to be anonymous actually works. Given that, if I was impressed by your not-so-generous offer of penis, how would you expect me to fulfill this wish of yours? Am I supposed to start fucking every anonymous gay guy in the world until I find the one that whispers, “I sent you that Tumblr message on May 6,” while pounding my dookie hole? Or was I just, as you said, supposed to take this as a compliment? If so, what kind of compliment is that? “Oh! Thank you! I thought I was completely unfuckable until this completely anonymous person who could be anyone from a career pedophile in federal prison to a 900-pound immobile housewife in Kansas said they would love to fuck the shit out of me! I feel great now!” At which point, wouldn’t that “compliment” make me feel empty? If someone wanted to fuck the shit out of me and I wanted them to but couldn’t track them down, wouldn’t that leave me feeling depressed and unfulfilled? I think it’s probably best for everyone involved that I saw this as unbearably creepy instead of the least bit complimentary.